Relationship is the number one vital element to the development of the whole person. According to the dictionary definition – relationship is a connection, an association or involvement – between persons either by blood, marriage, references or proximity. One thing is sure; there are always emotions of some sort attached to every relationship.
The Bible says in (Gen 1vs26), “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness….” And thus God made Adam after Himself to relate with him. When Adam fell, He sent His son Jesus Christ (John 3vs16-17) and through Jesus crucifixion and resurrection we were given the Holy Spirit (John 14vs16-18); and the later part of vs 17 says, “but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.” What a relationship!
God made us to relate, connect and establish bonds with each other. To reach out to each other and by us doing that He in turn reaches out to us and give us joy we can’t find anywhere else.
Your relationship with God is the one factor that will put all and every puzzle of your life together. It makes you a whole being. In addition, this is what God desires -- for you to commune with Him, fellowship with Him, and then He fills your whole being with Himself (Eph 1vs23 Amp. Version). In essence, very emptiness is fill up in full measure of Him.
When God gets hold of you, you are complete! You can truly appreciate who He made you to be and discover purpose when you work with Him. There are dimensions of yourself you will uncover which you never considered before. Things that are important to you, what you really need the most and the things you do not deserve or not healthy or good for you will all be reveal to you. What we sometimes desire could actually be what we do not need as children of God. The most important thing is, knowing who you are in and with God. This is huge and important because it will help you to consider and define what you have got to have and what you cannot put up with in relating with others. Building a relationship with God will help you avoid experiencing unnecessary pain and wasting precious time on a no-win situation.
The first commandment goes thus: “You must love the Lord thy God” followed by, “thou shall love thy neighbour as thy self.” The truth is, if the principle that governs relationships is not in place, you might not have a successful relationship. Love of God, love of self and love for others are the basic principles to successful relationships. You have no love, if you do not love your creator or accept the love that He offers you. And you can’t love another if you cannot love yourself.
Self-love is not the same as being selfish. It is becoming confident in who you are. It means being comfortable in your skin, soul and spirit, having regard for your welfare and interest while holding genuine concern and respect for others. Most of the times, we tend to suck up to people so we can be accepted and properly fit in. If you are confident in who you are, you will trust yourself, your abilities and in turn you will attract people who will trust you to bring that part of you out in the open. There are many people willing to accept and help you, if only you will first accept and help yourself. Get to really know yourself, if you do not know yourself, it will be hard for anyone else to get to know you. After all how can you share your heart if you do not know what is really in it? Know what is the good , the bad and the ugly about yourself and this does not in the least mean that you come to hate who you are if you do not like what you know. You must like yourself or why would you expect anyone else to like you? Do not go pointing out your flaws when entering into relationships to garner compassion, it is not prudent! Really, if someone does not notice your flaws, don't you dare tell! It is only your manufacturer – our Almighty God and Father who can deal with that, humans do not handle flaws very well because man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at our hearts and inner worth! Glory be to His name! Since He made you, He knows everything about you that you/we cannot even comprehend it! He is still not put off by your defects.
God created you to thrive on relationships; and He wants every relationship in your life to be complete. But first, it must start with Him. It is only when and if you will put Him first and go to Him for what you need most, then and only then will you experience wholeness. God never made a promise that was/is too good to be true. In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success (Prov 3vs6). God says I have loved you with an everlasting love -- I will build you and you shall be rebuilt (Jer 31vs3-4).
The greatest human need is love. You will always have an innate desire to share your heart with someone else. There’s a deep need to be part of someone else’s life. You want to reach out to love, to cherish and to hold. You want to contribute to the joy, success and happiness of another. Even when you are in denial of that emotions and yearnings in your heart, you find yourself still reaching out to touch, feel and connect with another, and no matter how you try to stay off, you cannot stop yourself for needing someone because this is the yearning of the human heart. This is because God Himself made you to function that way and your refusal or inability to connect with the right person does not mean that your heart’s yearning can be shrugged away or ignored except it is fulfilled.
Can you imagine the frustration of always trying to get the attention of someone only to be ignored? That crushes you and messes you up. It dampens your self-image and self-efficacy! When you are tired of ignoring those yearnings in your heart, then it is time to face the reality – the fact that you cannot ignore or kill what is part of your being -- this is what makes you function well like as a human. That’s when you decide to meet with the manufacturer.
The Lord will direct you in all your ways and He means it! Write out the script and make it obvious. Hence, confess what you belief and watch God mold your desires into your very own Adam or Eve. (Hab 2vs2-3, Rev10vs4-11). This two scriptures says it all! Write down full description in details and display it on your walls. Have a picture of what you want both in your mind and on paper -- chew it, believe it, dream it and finally begin to prophesize. Wait on the Lord. Surely, He will not fail or tarry!
Remember this, your life is the sum result or total of all the choices you make -- both consciously and unconsciously. If you control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself and on waiting on the Lord!
